Premarital counseling is an excellent introduction before embarking on a lifelong journey of commitment. It is a chance for engaged couples to know the flaws and the differences of their spouse-to-be well enough, that problems to arise because of these differences will be taken with gentle caution as they learn to accept each other’s weaknesses.
Awareness of who your partner will equip you to deal with hardships that may rock the stability of your marriage. Because “Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like” Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC said.
In this article, let us gain a piece of knowledge about how couples release all anxiety that premarital counseling may cause them and turn those instead to well-planned “relationship goals” that will strengthen them and boost their intimacy as what millennials would always say.
- Most couples who are passionately in love think that they do not have to talk about each other’s past or their flaws. But on the other hand, premarital counseling suggests it would be healthier to talk about these things, bringing up the past, learning from it, and allowing it to change you into becoming a stronger person.
It is not for you to fight over what happened in the past, but to allow you to accept and handle situations if ever they occur again in the future. Premarital counseling helps you identify the lesson to be learned and strategies for you not to do it again for the sake of your partner’s feelings and saving the relationship. Knowing your partner more deeply and understanding him will not only benefit both of you but will undoubtedly increase intimacy and will encourage you make more exciting relationship goals.
2. Planning your relationship goals first requires knowing each other so that you have an idea of what your partner wants – what tickles or irritate her, the type of her adventures, or if is she as simultaneous as you are. That way you’re far from taking the relationship into the red zone and make the woman in your life happy and excited.
3. Relationship goals for couples demands complete understanding of both individuals who have their own taste and preferences for things and not to always meet in the middle. Knowing this will give you both the opportunity to try out new things that both of you will like. “If emotions become heightened, it’s a good idea to implement a safe word prior to the discussion which indicates that one of the partners needs to take a break,” says Michelle Smith, LMHC.
4. The possibility of having a child must be discussed before marriage, how many kids and the number of gap year for each. It is to allow your partner and yourself to prepare for a more stable future for the family whether in the financial or health aspects. You should build strong the foundation of your marriage as you learn together stuff such as planning and making decisions.
5. Due to familiarity, most couples, in the long run, fail to have a real intimate and meaningful conversation about what to expect in their married life even before entering into marriage. Before walking down the aisle, you need to understand the biblical role of a man and woman. It is to lead the union together to a more meaningful and fulfilling life that you may be thankful to God for the beautiful life you have with your spouse.
Starting this lifelong journey with the most significant person in your life without talking or having a deep, detailed conversation will only lead to miscommunication, misunderstanding, fights, and worse, separation. Before partaking in marriage, it is better to learn about the situations that may come. Let BetterHelp therapists guide and assist you through counseling to focus and be able to answer these questions that will give you both insights before you take your vows in front of the altar.
Relationship goals start with both couples agreeing and enjoying together the moments that may come with no regrets and just solely be determined to learn and grow together. “Participating together as a couple gives the partners the opportunity to pay closer attention to one another and listen more intimately to their needs, wants, and dissatisfactions, thus establishing a closer bond and a more intimate connection.” Dana Baduna, PhD, LMFT said.