The Art Of Communicating Better

Do you believe that you have what it takes to communicate with others effectively? Do you understand that there are processes and specific methods that you have to do when conversing with others? Do you have an idea on how you can get better communication? If you already know the answers, then you might want to skip this article. But if you are unsure about your communication abilities, then proceed in reading.


The Proper Gesture

“Just like our feelings give us information about our needs, so do our bodies through physiological feedback,” says Eliza Chamblin, LCSW. A lot of people do not seem to notice their involuntary gestures when they are talking to someone. Do you know that a simple tap in the hands can mean a thing? Well, the truth is, people, lose their interest in talking with a person because of an inappropriate gesture. These can include sitting inappropriately such as legs are wide open or feet in front of someone’s face. But that is just too extreme. One common is not looking directly in someone’s eyes when conversing. Yes, there are times that it is not a big deal for some people. However, when we discuss strong communication skills in terms of gesture, eye contact is the best approach that strengths that.

Voice Toning

“Harsh words are just as damaging whether they come from someone else or whether they come from you,” says licensed psychologist Cindy T. Graham, PhD. If you want to establish your point, improve your arguments instead of raising your voice. A louder voice does not represent a better communication strategy. Doing this will only make you look a stupid, uneducated, and disrespectful piece of an individual. So if you aim to create a better communication environment, start with toning your voice. Allow yourself to manage better deliverance of sounds that will not provoke anything that you will soon regret. Give yourself time to think through an appropriate response and never let your emotions take control. Keep in mind that your target is to make people understand you, and not agree with your ideas only because they are afraid.


The Ability To Listen

When talking to someone, the goal is always to initiate. It is where you focus on your desire of making someone understand your thoughts and emotions. It is as if the only thing that will matter in a conversation is your point. However, better communication does not stick to that particular bullshit. Yes, you can say whatever you want. Though, when you understand what communication is, you listen. You do not just input ideas into someone’s head and leave without listening to what he thinks about it. You need to prepare yourself for disapprovals and not bitch about it after.


Understanding Feelings

There is no more excellent way of communication than understanding how others feel about your words. If your goal is to express yourself, do it in a way that the other person will not feel intimidated or offended by it. Same as raising a point, make sure that your intentions are not in the form of directly insulting, degrading, or making fun of others. Keep in mind that better communication is the one that makes both parties understand and respect each other regardless of their different views and opinions. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said.

Remember, communication is something that requires skills, effort, and understanding. If you want to improve in it, use these fundamentals wisely.

How A Family Should Communicate Effectively


We can never tell where and when significant issues in the household will appear. We have no control over what is coming. And even if we expect things to happen, there is always a slight difference of result from the way we think of it. From there, we begin to have problems along with our unit. Sometimes, we feel misunderstood, not knowing that other members of the family also feel the same way. From there, we throw our concerns, complaints, and disappointments because we believe our mother, father, or children, are not listening at all. But you see, the whole point of the issue is not the difference of personality, nor opinions and individual character. It is the understanding of each member’s ability to communicate effectively.


Allowing Everyone To Express Themselves

“Our society tells us that if you talk about your issues, express your feelings, or even verbalize you have a mental health disorder, you must be “weak.”.” Ryan Parks, M.Ed, LPCC said. But when we say allowing members of the family to express themselves, it means sharing thoughts and ideas in a way that the intention is to make others understand and not judge. No, not because someone in the family expresses himself, that does not give him the freedom to disrespect others opinions. It is not like that. It does not also mean that someone in the family gets a hall pass when he tries to enumerate the likes and whatnots. Allowing an expression is merely telling other members of the family how someone thinks and feels without expecting to receive a positive result. It is like kids can ask for permission to go out. But when parents do not allow it, it shouldn’t have to be a big deal. Parents can become way too overprotective. But when kids express their sorrow over it, parents should consider the comment as well. It is like that.

No Secrets (Even Small Ones)

Some people seem very open about everything to their family. Honestly, it is a good thing. That is because the family is one of the valuable sources we can get when we are not emotionally and mentally stable. Of course, that is aside from having friends outside. Each member serves a purpose in allowing our growth and development. So to be able to communicate with them effectively, we have to keep no secrets, even small ones. Yes, there are times that we feel uneasy telling our family things that bug us. But we have to ensure our safety in their hands. We have to trust our family and believe that they will be there for us no matter what. Sure, families are different from one to another. Some will not become as understanding or complicated as ours. But it does not matter. Our ability to communicate with them will bring us closer to the type of connection that will allow an overall development. “By building a list of people that you trust, with whom you can talk to in times of need, you allow yourself a strong sense of not being alone.” As David Klow, a licensed therapist emphasizes.


Honestly, there is no proper or faulty way of communication in the family, depending on the type of relationship every individual have. As long as one member is happy, the others will also feel the same. Yes, there are misunderstandings along the way. But there is nothing communication cannot better handle. Because “Authentic happiness is relating to the entire universe. When someone relates and leaves nothing out, you can see it in the face and posture. There is a presence about a truly happy person, a look that says “Yes,” to oneself, to others, and to the world.” Andrea F. Polard, PsyD explains.

Causes Of Damaged Communication


We all know that communication is one of the fundamentals that keep any relationship healthy. That includes business, work, family, friends, and romantic ones. It serves as the key to express one’s thoughts and emotions that allows others to understand an individual much better. It is a way of telling others our desire, our goal, and perception towards the world. But how should we be able to communicate better? Are there specific ways to do that? Let’s find out.

Telling Something With Implications

There are a lot of definitions that try to explain communication. However, the most common thing we do is telling or indirectly saying things. There are cases that instead of directly pointing out what is inside our heads, we create a different expression that represents a different meaning. It is sometimes a good thing to do because it allows other people to understand us deeply. It gives them time and effort to think through the conveyed meaning. However, the problem with this indirect expression is that not all individuals are mentally capable of unraveling mysterious and indirect messages. And when these people honestly do not have a clue on what we are trying to say, we get pissed off. But is that their fault? Of course, it is not. Our habit to always point out unuseful hints only makes the process of communication vaguer than ever. “Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist suggests.


Expressing With The Intention Of Hurting

It is genuinely okay that we find time to express ourselves. We need it to prepare our emotional and mental stability for the worse case scenarios. However, communicating to hurt others is different. “Harsh words are just as damaging whether they come from someone else or whether they come from you,” says licensed psychologist Cindy T. Graham, PhD. Yes, we sometimes cannot control the situation, and that is understandable. However, what does not deserve an excuse is the consistency of hurting someone’s feelings and personality by trying to use the expression as a leeway. It becomes inappropriate to communicate only to make someone feel bad about themselves or defame them due to their ideas that do not fit ours. That is unacceptable. However, the sad part of this is that nobody can identify if the expression is trying to hurt someone or not. Because sometimes, even if people know they are a target, and the whole communication is trying to ruin their emotional and mental state, they prefer to master the art of not giving a single concern.


Listening By Judging

Some people do not always intend to listen. Most of the times, their goal is only to express themselves no matter what the situation is. Perhaps, we can say that it is part of communication. However, they are not only the ones guilty of using communication in a damaging way. Some people listen only to prove their judgment. These individuals are more likely to identify gossip as their truth and look at lies as their facts. It becomes a reason to hate communication because of these people who believe they are listening, but in reality, they are not trying to make a sense out of their judgment. The sad part, we can never control it. Even if we shove the truth in their faces, they will still believe the things they already put inside their heads. So with that, “Mindfulness is a helpful skill to learn because it lets you observe these “uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and physical sensations without judgment.” Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC said.

Given these things, have you ever thought about how you contribute to damaging communication too?

Why Listening Is Important In Communication


Expressing one’s thoughts is the fundamental of communication. It allows an individual to let the other person know his thoughts and feelings. It becomes a gateway to let someone make contact with different opinions and views. However, expressing one’s ideas is just a piece of the process. That is because communication requires attentive listening and understanding. Therefore, telling someone about something is not enough if the other person is not listening at all.

The Science Of Listening

Listening is a mental process that focuses on the extraction of meaning from sound. Usually, it goes along with pattern recognition. It means there is a pattern of distinguishing signals from noise. From that specific function, an individual will be able to travel his mental state into a place where thoughts form together and become an idea. Then there is the buildup of comprehension which will open the realm of emotional response. The whole process of listening will then allow a person to understand opinion, segregate information that is not needed, and make a better conclusion after the given expression.


Communication Without Listening

Communication is not as effective as it seems when one person is not listening. Although the thought of two individuals talking with each other may represent a conversation, there is no guarantee that one person or the other fully commit to communication. Some signs may tell if someone is listening or not. Well, there are times it is visible, and there are times it is not. The point is when two individuals only focus on expressing themselves without the audacity to listen to the other, then that is not the right form of communication. It is merely a representation of individuals trying to impose their thoughts and ideas to each other without the consideration of listening to one other.

Why Need To Listen?

An individual can be great at expressing himself. However, when that individual doesn’t try to listen, his expressions become pointless. The words that come out from his mouth are merely a combination of scrambled letters that will not represent a thing. So why need to listen? Well, listening is crucial because it is where communication begins. It is where someone gets a response from picturing out ideas and expressions in their heads. It is not only on one particular side but on both angles for the matter. It is where a conversation becomes a place for knowledge and information. It is where the whole of communication becomes a window for emotional and mental growth.

If you think your listening skills are lacking, you can get professional advice from platforms like BetterHelp. Furthermore, they have social media extensions, including Instagram, which can provide you better access.



Honestly, starting a conversation and believing it to be communication is something that a lot of people do. But what they do not understand is the importance of understanding what the other person is trying to say. Yes, someone can say everything they want and believe that the whole thing is all about expression. However, it seems pretty challenging to listen right through it. That is because everybody wants to express themselves without the consideration of letting others do the same. And that is a fact.

Why Communication Is Important For Leaders: Guide From A Therapist


We all have that specific person who comes to mind whenever we think about great leaders. Whether it is a political figure, someone from your personal life, or a colleague, and regardless of who they are or where they stand in life, they all exhibit specific traits that set them apart from each other. It’s one thing to lead, but yet another to be a leader who knows how to communicate well. Here are some things to remember about being a leader who knows how to communicate effectively according to every therapist.

Get Personal

Some leaders don’t believe in getting personal with their colleagues. They tend to act highly and build a wall between them and their team members to maintain a specific power or impression that leaders are too high of a person. For you to be an effective communicator, you must stop issuing corporate communications. Stop sounding too bossy. Begin to have an organizational conversation because the more personal and engaging the conversation is, the more effective it will be for your subordinates.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” This quote has been with many great leaders, including Theodore Roosevelt, John Maxwell, and many more. It is true that people, especially in workplaces, don’t care about how much you know or you much you have achieved. They are more conscious of how you genuinely care. “You have to get really clear with yourself first about what’s motivating you when you agree to do someone else a favor.” A reminder from Erika Martinez, PsyD

Getting personal with people does not necessarily mean you have to build friendship instantly, especially in the workplace. It is just one way of showing to your subordinates you care about what they feel, and your intentions are real. If leaders fail to develop meaningful relationships with their people, they will never know what is truly in their mind, which may lead to complications within their team.

Authenticity Counts

Authenticity is very hard to determine, but we immediately know it when we see and hear it. We can usually tell instantly when a person is authentic or not. According to some research, leaders who have genuine intentions tend to be more emphatic, trusted, and believable.

Empathic communicators display a level of authenticity and transparency, which is not present with leaders who choose to communicate using a well-crafted façade to appear tough. Being authentic is what helps turn anger to admiration, and hesitation to trust. You may seem to show a tough exterior, and you can be the strict type of boss, but if you are an authentic leader who knows how to get real with people, then there is not much of a problem.

According to Susan Tardanico, founder and CEO of the Authentic Leadership Alliance, “People want real. People respect real. “People follow real.”



“Nothing ruins self-esteem like surrounding yourself with people who abuse or neglect you,” says therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. To listen is something that seems like an easy thing to do. It is not. Communication is a two-way street, listening, and talking. It sounds pretty basic, but people forget we should need to be a good listener before we can communicate well. How are you able to say the things your audience wants or needs to hear if you don’t know how to listen?

A leader who knows how to listen well holds a precious gift. Imagine a subordinate talking to his or her leader about burnout. It is a concern every leader needs to address and be aware of because they don’t want any of their team members to feel tired and lost. What if during the conversation, the particular team member took notice his or her leader is not listening? They will lose confidence in whatever they are trying to say.

People only reveal juicy bits whenever they are in their comfort zone. So if you are the kind of leader who wants to know what goes down in their team, know how to listen well.


Remember, anyone can take charge, but not everyone can listen genuinely. When communicating with others, most of the time, we focus on what we should say. However, effective communication is more about listening. Listening very carefully does not only mean we should understand the words or the information shared to us. Listening is also following the emotions the speaker is trying to convey.

“Bring the right people into your life.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D said. Effective leaders must motivate a team, and this would not be possible without a proper way of communication. They should communicate genuinely with good intentions, and their objectives must be clearly defined. They should also know when to stop and listen to their subordinate’s concerns.

A successful leader may have a natural talent, but he or she has to be able to convey all of this through positive and effective communication. Great leaders must be great communicators.

The Power Of Self-Communication

Are you someone who tends to speak to yourself? Do you tend to talk to yourself when you find yourself alone in a crowd, or when you are indecisive about something? You might think this may be crazy behavior, but psychologists acknowledge the benefits of speaking with yourself. Self-communication is formally termed as “intrapersonal communication.” It is one vital skill that is not receiving too much recognition. If you want to hone this skill, you can seek support from online resources like BetterHelp. It provides communication with trained professionals who are experts in the matter.

“Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist explains. The power of self-communication is a trait unique to humans. It is the ability to speak to yourself, but mostly in a non-verbal way. The difference in intrapersonal communication amongst humans is how much one person has developed his or her self-communication skills in a way that is beneficial to his or her self.

Communicating with yourself have numerous cognitive benefits you may not feel immediately, but these effects are very beneficial. Here are seven benefits of a well-developed self-communication.

You Are Aware Of Your Strengths And Weaknesses

“Awareness is the beginning of all change.”  Karla Helbert, LPC, E-RYT, C-IAYT said. When you communicate with yourself, you become more aware of yourself. It includes identifying our strengths and weaknesses. By identifying these, you can adapt and adjust yourself to the different situations that you face. It is also essential to acknowledge them, most especially your weaknesses, as doing so can help with your self-development.


You Can Self-Motivate

Because you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you know what drives you to be productive and what will give you the energy to accomplish something. It is important to remember that motivation will always come from within you. Communicating with yourself will help you develop your self-motivation skills to help you reach your goals. You also know how to utilize what’s around you to help improve your mental state, such as getting motivation from social media.

You Learn To Be Independent

Being aware of yourself will teach you that you don’t always have to rely on others. You are aware that you are a strong-minded individual who can accomplish many things. However, you should also be conscious that you cannot do everything and that seeking help is sometimes the best solution. Self-communication aids you in identifying the times when you can do it by yourself or when you need help.

You Develop Better Focus

Self-communication and self-motivation will help you develop a better focus. You become aware of the things that cause you distraction, and you avoid them by all means. With deeper concentration, you can center on the task at hand and achieve them. It will help you become more productive with your time. “Look at negative thoughts like reruns of a TV show you’ve seen a million times. Let them play in the background while you shift your focus to something else,” explains Jo Eckler, PsyD, a therapist.


You Boost Your Confidence

Having well-developed intrapersonal skills will help you become more comfortable with yourself. You recognize that the person who will never leave you is you. There are times when there will be no one to support you, and you will need to do the support yourself. With self-communication, you become more confident.

You Become More Adaptable

Being self-aware will help you adjust to your environment. You realize that the things and people around you are not necessarily made for you and might cause you discomfort. But because you are self-aware, you are not afraid to take on these challenges in front of you. You can confidently and calmly react to the stimuli around you.

You Tend To Think First

With self-communication, you understand the profound importance of always thinking first. There are still consequences on what you think and do. By thinking first, you always weigh the outcomes to avoid undesirable effects. You will be able to prevent spur of the moment decisions that may lead to disappointing results.


Those were some of the powers of self-communication. By developing your intrapersonal skills, you can become a more responsible and mature human being. But when we talk about power, we talk about how to create and destroy. When there is the right side, there is always the wrong side. It is also applicable to self-communication. It also has some adverse effects that may affect the way you live. Some of these negative benefits include the following:


There is always a thin line between arrogance and confidence. When crossed, it may considerably influence the way you live and how people perceive you.


On the other hand, being so good at self-communication may lead you to neglect the importance of social interaction. We are social beings, after all. Disregarding your social life may hinder your growth.


When you always have thoughts in your mind, you may tend to overanalyze things and obsessively think of the outcomes. It may lead you to become anxious, as well.

In a nutshell, there are pros and cons to self-communication. The choice and power are yours on what tactics you will practice to avoid the counteractive effects of self-communication and practice it in a way that will best benefit you and your environment.

Developing Your Child’s Mental Health Through Effective Communication


Emotional and psychological well-being influences how individuals think, feel and act. Dealing with our mental health is similarly as critical as having a solid body. As a parent, you assume an essential job in your young one’s psychological wellness. With the things that you say and do, and how you make your home, it will affect your child’s mental health. You can also find out about the early indications of psychological issues if you suspect that your child may have it and go to experts for help.

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Instagram Tips To Follow For The Sake Of Your Mental Health


For the lovers of social media, there is nothing more that boosts their mental health than seeing the number of followers grow from a handful up to hundreds of thousands or even millions. After all, it means that many people across the planet care about their posts or are interested in every photo or caption that you make public.

Business owners are also proving to be braver than ever in terms of promoting their products to consumers. Apart from taking their advertisements to the streets, they bring it into the digital world as well where even someone living in a distant country can gain access to it.

Nevertheless, if you are still not contented with your success in the photo-sharing platform – or you are yet to achieve it – here are some tips to remember.

1. Specify Your Niche

Before registering to the networking site, you should be able to tell at once what kind of images you will share to establish the online brand. If you aim to feature bags, for instance, it will not be right to post your favorite couch or table there because the audience can get confused by that.


2. Like Relevant Posts

With the assumption that you are on the platform to market your products or services, you do not have to feel as if you can do well without the other advertisers in the same niche. They can indirectly help increase your subscribers when you hit the Like button on some of their posts. By doing so, your username will appear under their photo, and the curious viewers can hop on to your account anytime.

3. Promote It To Other Channels

People these days typically have an account on multiple social media websites. Since Facebook, Twitter, and others have been in the mainstream longer than Instagram, your pages in those sites may ideally have garnered a lot of followers. Now, you can use these platforms to introduce the new Instagram account and encourage them to follow you there as well. After all, it will never hurt to ask.

4. Use Geotags

If you are a blogging nomad or a photographer who likes to visit different locations in the world, your every post can get geotagged so that the individuals who have been in the same places can find you on Instagram faster. That tends to make people feel connected to you instantly. You may then bank of that feeling for them to look into your other offerings.

5. Hang Out With People

It does not mean that you need to know each viewer on a personal level. By interacting with them in the Comments section and answering a few of their questions there, the followers grasp that there is a real human being behind the brand. Therefore, it enables them to appreciate you and your goods more.


6. Post Interesting Images

Though only the most courageous folks upload fresh copies of their products’ pictures at present, you can compete better at this marketing game if you help yourself generously to the filtering methods that a lot of apps provide to make the images more eye-catching. There are mobile versions of them available for a quick fix to any image that you want to post stat. In case there is no time constraint for the task, you may utilize the desktop photo-editing applications too.

7. Take After The Trends

Instagram releases various trends throughout the year, and you should always be up to speed to them to keep your viewers coming back. Analyze the Audience Engagement chart as well so that you will be able to see what causes the increase or decrease of the lines there.

8. Tell A Story

The photos you will post on the platform have to paint over a thousand words to attract the attention of consumers. Use your creativity to find out how a simple pair of shoes, for instance, can look attractive to different audiences and make them want to share it or give it a heart.

9. Add Hashtags

Hashtags are no longer for Twitter only as Instagram users can include as many as they please in every post. It will allow your photos to be discovered in online searches more efficiently.

To Sum Things Up

Instagram is one of the hottest platforms to use right now to gain social media following. You can utilize it to obtain personal popularity or promote your business. Follow the tips given above to ensure that you are maximizing Instagram’s use in your life.

Good luck!

7 Tips For Motivational Speakers

Anybody who is interested in becoming a motivational speaker needs to master the art of communication. If you want to be an expert in this field, it is imperative on your part to familiarize the rules when it comes to connecting with someone. Fortunately, there are several ways on how you can make this happen. You can practice connecting with a close friend or a family member so that you will not feel awkward in the process.


Continue reading “7 Tips For Motivational Speakers”