The Art Of Communicating Better

Do you believe that you have what it takes to communicate with others effectively? Do you understand that there are processes and specific methods that you have to do when conversing with others? Do you have an idea on how you can get better communication? If you already know the answers, then you might want to skip this article. But if you are unsure about your communication abilities, then proceed in reading.

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The Proper Gesture

“Just like our feelings give us information about our needs, so do our bodies through physiological feedback,” says Eliza Chamblin, LCSW. A lot of people do not seem to notice their involuntary gestures when they are talking to someone. Do you know that a simple tap in the hands can mean a thing? Well, the truth is, people, lose their interest in talking with a person because of an inappropriate gesture. These can include sitting inappropriately such as legs are wide open or feet in front of someone’s face. But that is just too extreme. One common is not looking directly in someone’s eyes when conversing. Yes, there are times that it is not a big deal for some people. However, when we discuss strong communication skills in terms of gesture, eye contact is the best approach that strengths that.

Voice Toning

“Harsh words are just as damaging whether they come from someone else or whether they come from you,” says licensed psychologist Cindy T. Graham, PhD. If you want to establish your point, improve your arguments instead of raising your voice. A louder voice does not represent a better communication strategy. Doing this will only make you look a stupid, uneducated, and disrespectful piece of an individual. So if you aim to create a better communication environment, start with toning your voice. Allow yourself to manage better deliverance of sounds that will not provoke anything that you will soon regret. Give yourself time to think through an appropriate response and never let your emotions take control. Keep in mind that your target is to make people understand you, and not agree with your ideas only because they are afraid.

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The Ability To Listen

When talking to someone, the goal is always to initiate. It is where you focus on your desire of making someone understand your thoughts and emotions. It is as if the only thing that will matter in a conversation is your point. However, better communication does not stick to that particular bullshit. Yes, you can say whatever you want. Though, when you understand what communication is, you listen. You do not just input ideas into someone’s head and leave without listening to what he thinks about it. You need to prepare yourself for disapprovals and not bitch about it after.

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Understanding Feelings

There is no more excellent way of communication than understanding how others feel about your words. If your goal is to express yourself, do it in a way that the other person will not feel intimidated or offended by it. Same as raising a point, make sure that your intentions are not in the form of directly insulting, degrading, or making fun of others. Keep in mind that better communication is the one that makes both parties understand and respect each other regardless of their different views and opinions. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said.

Remember, communication is something that requires skills, effort, and understanding. If you want to improve in it, use these fundamentals wisely.

How A Family Should Communicate Effectively

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We can never tell where and when significant issues in the household will appear. We have no control over what is coming. And even if we expect things to happen, there is always a slight difference of result from the way we think of it. From there, we begin to have problems along with our unit. Sometimes, we feel misunderstood, not knowing that other members of the family also feel the same way. From there, we throw our concerns, complaints, and disappointments because we believe our mother, father, or children, are not listening at all. But you see, the whole point of the issue is not the difference of personality, nor opinions and individual character. It is the understanding of each member’s ability to communicate effectively.

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Allowing Everyone To Express Themselves

“Our society tells us that if you talk about your issues, express your feelings, or even verbalize you have a mental health disorder, you must be “weak.”.” Ryan Parks, M.Ed, LPCC said. But when we say allowing members of the family to express themselves, it means sharing thoughts and ideas in a way that the intention is to make others understand and not judge. No, not because someone in the family expresses himself, that does not give him the freedom to disrespect others opinions. It is not like that. It does not also mean that someone in the family gets a hall pass when he tries to enumerate the likes and whatnots. Allowing an expression is merely telling other members of the family how someone thinks and feels without expecting to receive a positive result. It is like kids can ask for permission to go out. But when parents do not allow it, it shouldn’t have to be a big deal. Parents can become way too overprotective. But when kids express their sorrow over it, parents should consider the comment as well. It is like that.

No Secrets (Even Small Ones)

Some people seem very open about everything to their family. Honestly, it is a good thing. That is because the family is one of the valuable sources we can get when we are not emotionally and mentally stable. Of course, that is aside from having friends outside. Each member serves a purpose in allowing our growth and development. So to be able to communicate with them effectively, we have to keep no secrets, even small ones. Yes, there are times that we feel uneasy telling our family things that bug us. But we have to ensure our safety in their hands. We have to trust our family and believe that they will be there for us no matter what. Sure, families are different from one to another. Some will not become as understanding or complicated as ours. But it does not matter. Our ability to communicate with them will bring us closer to the type of connection that will allow an overall development. “By building a list of people that you trust, with whom you can talk to in times of need, you allow yourself a strong sense of not being alone.” As David Klow, a licensed therapist emphasizes.

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Honestly, there is no proper or faulty way of communication in the family, depending on the type of relationship every individual have. As long as one member is happy, the others will also feel the same. Yes, there are misunderstandings along the way. But there is nothing communication cannot better handle. Because “Authentic happiness is relating to the entire universe. When someone relates and leaves nothing out, you can see it in the face and posture. There is a presence about a truly happy person, a look that says “Yes,” to oneself, to others, and to the world.” Andrea F. Polard, PsyD explains.

Causes Of Damaged Communication

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We all know that communication is one of the fundamentals that keep any relationship healthy. That includes business, work, family, friends, and romantic ones. It serves as the key to express one’s thoughts and emotions that allows others to understand an individual much better. It is a way of telling others our desire, our goal, and perception towards the world. But how should we be able to communicate better? Are there specific ways to do that? Let’s find out.

Telling Something With Implications

There are a lot of definitions that try to explain communication. However, the most common thing we do is telling or indirectly saying things. There are cases that instead of directly pointing out what is inside our heads, we create a different expression that represents a different meaning. It is sometimes a good thing to do because it allows other people to understand us deeply. It gives them time and effort to think through the conveyed meaning. However, the problem with this indirect expression is that not all individuals are mentally capable of unraveling mysterious and indirect messages. And when these people honestly do not have a clue on what we are trying to say, we get pissed off. But is that their fault? Of course, it is not. Our habit to always point out unuseful hints only makes the process of communication vaguer than ever. “Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist suggests.

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Expressing With The Intention Of Hurting

It is genuinely okay that we find time to express ourselves. We need it to prepare our emotional and mental stability for the worse case scenarios. However, communicating to hurt others is different. “Harsh words are just as damaging whether they come from someone else or whether they come from you,” says licensed psychologist Cindy T. Graham, PhD. Yes, we sometimes cannot control the situation, and that is understandable. However, what does not deserve an excuse is the consistency of hurting someone’s feelings and personality by trying to use the expression as a leeway. It becomes inappropriate to communicate only to make someone feel bad about themselves or defame them due to their ideas that do not fit ours. That is unacceptable. However, the sad part of this is that nobody can identify if the expression is trying to hurt someone or not. Because sometimes, even if people know they are a target, and the whole communication is trying to ruin their emotional and mental state, they prefer to master the art of not giving a single concern.

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Listening By Judging

Some people do not always intend to listen. Most of the times, their goal is only to express themselves no matter what the situation is. Perhaps, we can say that it is part of communication. However, they are not only the ones guilty of using communication in a damaging way. Some people listen only to prove their judgment. These individuals are more likely to identify gossip as their truth and look at lies as their facts. It becomes a reason to hate communication because of these people who believe they are listening, but in reality, they are not trying to make a sense out of their judgment. The sad part, we can never control it. Even if we shove the truth in their faces, they will still believe the things they already put inside their heads. So with that, “Mindfulness is a helpful skill to learn because it lets you observe these “uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and physical sensations without judgment.” Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC said.

Given these things, have you ever thought about how you contribute to damaging communication too?

Why Listening Is Important In Communication

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Expressing one’s thoughts is the fundamental of communication. It allows an individual to let the other person know his thoughts and feelings. It becomes a gateway to let someone make contact with different opinions and views. However, expressing one’s ideas is just a piece of the process. That is because communication requires attentive listening and understanding. Therefore, telling someone about something is not enough if the other person is not listening at all.

The Science Of Listening

Listening is a mental process that focuses on the extraction of meaning from sound. Usually, it goes along with pattern recognition. It means there is a pattern of distinguishing signals from noise. From that specific function, an individual will be able to travel his mental state into a place where thoughts form together and become an idea. Then there is the buildup of comprehension which will open the realm of emotional response. The whole process of listening will then allow a person to understand opinion, segregate information that is not needed, and make a better conclusion after the given expression.

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Communication Without Listening

Communication is not as effective as it seems when one person is not listening. Although the thought of two individuals talking with each other may represent a conversation, there is no guarantee that one person or the other fully commit to communication. Some signs may tell if someone is listening or not. Well, there are times it is visible, and there are times it is not. The point is when two individuals only focus on expressing themselves without the audacity to listen to the other, then that is not the right form of communication. It is merely a representation of individuals trying to impose their thoughts and ideas to each other without the consideration of listening to one other.

Why Need To Listen?

An individual can be great at expressing himself. However, when that individual doesn’t try to listen, his expressions become pointless. The words that come out from his mouth are merely a combination of scrambled letters that will not represent a thing. So why need to listen? Well, listening is crucial because it is where communication begins. It is where someone gets a response from picturing out ideas and expressions in their heads. It is not only on one particular side but on both angles for the matter. It is where a conversation becomes a place for knowledge and information. It is where the whole of communication becomes a window for emotional and mental growth.

If you think your listening skills are lacking, you can get professional advice from platforms like BetterHelp. Furthermore, they have social media extensions, including Instagram, which can provide you better access.

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Takeaway

Honestly, starting a conversation and believing it to be communication is something that a lot of people do. But what they do not understand is the importance of understanding what the other person is trying to say. Yes, someone can say everything they want and believe that the whole thing is all about expression. However, it seems pretty challenging to listen right through it. That is because everybody wants to express themselves without the consideration of letting others do the same. And that is a fact.