We all know that communication is one of the fundamentals that keep any relationship healthy. That includes business, work, family, friends, and romantic ones. It serves as the key to express one’s thoughts and emotions that allows others to understand an individual much better. It is a way of telling others our desire, our goal, and perception towards the world. But how should we be able to communicate better? Are there specific ways to do that? Let’s find out.
Telling Something With Implications
There are a lot of definitions that try to explain communication. However, the most common thing we do is telling or indirectly saying things. There are cases that instead of directly pointing out what is inside our heads, we create a different expression that represents a different meaning. It is sometimes a good thing to do because it allows other people to understand us deeply. It gives them time and effort to think through the conveyed meaning. However, the problem with this indirect expression is that not all individuals are mentally capable of unraveling mysterious and indirect messages. And when these people honestly do not have a clue on what we are trying to say, we get pissed off. But is that their fault? Of course, it is not. Our habit to always point out unuseful hints only makes the process of communication vaguer than ever. “Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist suggests.
Expressing With The Intention Of Hurting
It is genuinely okay that we find time to express ourselves. We need it to prepare our emotional and mental stability for the worse case scenarios. However, communicating to hurt others is different. “Harsh words are just as damaging whether they come from someone else or whether they come from you,” says licensed psychologist Cindy T. Graham, PhD. Yes, we sometimes cannot control the situation, and that is understandable. However, what does not deserve an excuse is the consistency of hurting someone’s feelings and personality by trying to use the expression as a leeway. It becomes inappropriate to communicate only to make someone feel bad about themselves or defame them due to their ideas that do not fit ours. That is unacceptable. However, the sad part of this is that nobody can identify if the expression is trying to hurt someone or not. Because sometimes, even if people know they are a target, and the whole communication is trying to ruin their emotional and mental state, they prefer to master the art of not giving a single concern.
Listening By Judging
Some people do not always intend to listen. Most of the times, their goal is only to express themselves no matter what the situation is. Perhaps, we can say that it is part of communication. However, they are not only the ones guilty of using communication in a damaging way. Some people listen only to prove their judgment. These individuals are more likely to identify gossip as their truth and look at lies as their facts. It becomes a reason to hate communication because of these people who believe they are listening, but in reality, they are not trying to make a sense out of their judgment. The sad part, we can never control it. Even if we shove the truth in their faces, they will still believe the things they already put inside their heads. So with that, “Mindfulness is a helpful skill to learn because it lets you observe these “uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and physical sensations without judgment.” Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC said.
Given these things, have you ever thought about how you contribute to damaging communication too?