Is Premarital Counseling Necessary?

Why is prenuptial counseling necessary in a relationship before marriage? How couples do well in a relationship depends on how well they discuss issues such as finances, children, personal, life goals, sex, and more.

married couple who did premarital counseling. Both couples should know what to expect of each other so as not to feel regretful in the future.

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Both couples should know what to expect of each other so as not to feel regretful in the future. Hence, a couple should attend premarital counseling.

Marriage is the union of two differently unique and imperfect individuals with different personalities and different opposing views (most of the time).  Interviewing couples who were able to maintain a healthy successful relationship, all had one thing in common: they all have proper and healthy communication in that they can comfortably talk about anything under the sun, some with the help of premarital counseling. However, “Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like.” says Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC

Why Premarital Counseling?

Good premarital counseling can save your life and your marriage. That is the reason why premarital counseling is necessary for couples who are about to tie the knot.  It prepares the couples how to be open with each other, and teaches them to communicate their thoughts and feelings, so important questions and issues will be discussed and settled in order for them to have a healthy marriage. “Through the premarital counseling process, couples find ways to improve their level of relationship satisfaction, sometimes they can also identify obstacles or characteristics that are too much to bear for either personal or for the relationship to overcome.” Dana Baduna, PhD, LMFT said.

Sharing each one’s goals and what they are thinking will allow them to be aware of their partner’s expectations of their future together.

Premarital counseling will……

prepare both of them on how to handle future situations as years go by.

During premarital counseling, there are issues that the premarital counselor allows the couples to answer together.

Why Choose Antenuptial Therapy?

A habit according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is the acquired manner of behavior that has become almost or entirely involuntary.

“Humans are complex and all of us experience emotions like anger and sadness, so it’s very normal that at some point in the relationship, you will disagree with your partner.” Maryann W. Mathai, LPCC, LMHC, LPC, NCC explains. Couples are entirely two different persons who decided to be together.  Their personal habits can significantly impact their relationship.  Simple issues such as the use of the bathroom or organizing stuff can cause a significant conflict between couples who decide to live under one roof together. Hence, premarital counseling comes in.

Suddenly, you may feel that you are with a total stranger, seeing another side of your loved one that might surprise you and leave you annoyed in the long run. You will thank yourself for doing premarital counseling.

financial planning pre-marriage is discussed by couples during counseling
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Counselor’s  Discussion

Finances 

It is essential to sort out money matters before marriage during premarital counseling.  Financial issues can cause so much stress for couples and are said to be one of the leading causes of divorce.  But for some reason, there are couples who are about to get married who do not want to touch on these issues which are very crucial in making future decisions regarding

  • Setting financial priorities
  • How to split expenditures
  • Unexpected need to support someone
  • Planning a secure financial future especially when kids are involved

Your point of view about money can sometimes dictate the compatibility and success of a relationship. You need to make sure to discuss finances in your premarital counseling.

Do you believe that better sex means a better relationship?

Does sexual compatibility matter to you when it comes to being in a relationship with someone?  If so, how are you going to know if you are sexually compatible if you are not going to discuss it before you say your vows?

Many couples decide to put an end to their long-term relationships once sex and intimacy in the bedroom have stopped.  Some women lose their appetite for sex when they reach menopausal age, and this is often an unacceptable reason for men.   Some end up in divorce, and according to them, they fell out of love; others say the chemistry just seemed to fade away. Premarital counseling can save you from this.

a happy couple with their lovely daughter. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family
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Children & Family

When it comes to having children, it is crucial for couples to be on the same page, as not everyone wants to have kids.  Early on, it is necessary to discuss during premarital counseling how long before you should have kids, how many if ever, and who will take care of the baby (this is a crucial topic that needs to be made clear).   Other issues that you must talk with your counselor about also include consideration of adopting kids and the use of contraceptives.

Couples must share their experiences growing up, how each was brought up, how their parents and their siblings are, and what rules and techniques their parents used, and if they will apply them in raising their own kids?

Beliefs

For new couples, this may seem not like a big issue.  But when there are kids involved, it may, especially when it comes to disciplining and teaching them how to be good people.  Beforehand, questions on how each perceives God and how important religion is should be discussed with an open mind. This is why premarital counseling is important.

Setting Goals

According to a premarital counseling expert, different couples have different relationship goals.  It may depend on how they see their future together, what they think will make them happy and contented with their relationship. You may discuss your goals in premarital counseling.

 

counselor goals
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Everybody aims for a relationship where he is accepted without judgment, loved, cared and understood.   Some want a secure married life where they can make every moment memorable.  Premarital counseling experts believe that knowing each other’s interests and openly telling what each of them likes and dislikes could help couples be accepting of each other’s flaws.

But no matter what relationship goals you each have and you both set as a couple, one thing is for sure – everybody does so for the ultimate happiness they have been searching for.

Communication And Disagreements

Premarital counseling is good to encourage communication. Communication is vital in every relationship.  There are many decisions couples have to make together no matter how simple or complicated they may be.  How will you solve issues or conflicts effectively if you will not talk about them?

Premarital Counseling Conclusion

Married life is a real thing, not a fantasy, not your happy ever after story, and it may or may not be your path forever.

Attending premarital counseling where you and your partner will be given a chance to discuss all these things is essential.   The success of your premarital counseling can dictate the success of your life as a couple.  Being able to answer your premarital counseling counselor’s questions and share your thoughts with your partner is a liberating experience for you both as a couple.

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